bowtech die hard

I had a squirrell actually climb onto my foot and then proceeded up the outside of my pant leg until I shook my leg and gave him a heart attack. I've never seen a squirrell that close and his eyes get so big when he looked me right in the eye and though "OH CRAP!!!"

Scott/IL

I was bowhunting this year and got in my stand well before first light. Well when I could start to see a little I looked behind me about 20 yards and saw my cousin sitting in his climber.

We had entered the area different ways so we had no idea either one of us were hunting the farm that morning.

fshafly2

Great stories guys . Left me with tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard...
-fsh

stuckinthereeds

The funniest thing....well, I actually got my buck. Thats damn well hillarious.. and a miricle.

APRock

I gotta say that, even though it is gross,the story about the old guy dropping a dump in his hood had me on the floor!

Used to do some predator hunting years ago (getting back into it) anyway my son found my old predator call and I showed him how to use it. He just couldn't believe that a rabbit made any noise at all, much less THAT squaling. He thought I was blowing smoke up his arse. So we go out hunting a few weeks later. Now he had "earned" the privilige of using the Ruger with a scope on it (it was "cooler"). I had my old Winchester single shot. Rabbit take off, circles around, and stops. Boy is trying to find it in the scope, getting frustrated. I gave him a countdown and took the shot myself - about a 45yd body shot. Rabbit falls. "Man! I never saw it!", he says. We walk over and I pick it up - still a little life left and it lets out a squaller. I thought my son was gonna fill his pants! Jumped about 10 feet, started cussin', then looks at me with that big eyed "I am in trouble" look.I just sat down and laughed. That was a few years ago,he believes the old man now and has learned a lot.

Keeping in the theme of "bodily functions" or malfunctions I guess...Buddy and I take this other guy out pheasant hunting. This guy was a pretty good trap shooter but hadn't ever been out after real birds but felt he'd out shoot us. We hit some likely spots in the morning and he got a few shots off and whiffed them all. Of course we had to give him a little ribbing for that.."Them clays don't jump up right under your feet now do they!? Don't make as much noise either..." He wasn't too happy, felt he hadn't given us any reason to give him any crap, so we let up. Went back out after lunch and hit some terraces. We explained that this time of year, the birds will either run to the end and bust with us hundreds of yards away, or run to the end and wait us out, so we are going to walk the whole length. We go about 3/4 of a mile, I got my young dog working but staying close. This guy starts whining that there aren't any birds, we are wasting our time, etc. etc. Get about 10 yds from the end and he says "F it, I have to pee". Sets down his gun, and doesn't just whip out and go, he dang near undresses. Coat unzipped, shirts untucked, belt undone, unsnap, unzip, pants halfway down his arse, then he starts to go. Buddy and I keep going, dog don't want to stop. Dog locks up and a second later we have pheasants explodingall over the place. Buddy takes one. I can't shoot, I am on the ground laughing. This guy, drops his "gun", reaches for his weapon, looses his balance cuz his pants fell further down and tumbles 12 feet down the terrace, through the weeds, peein' the whole way! So now he's got scratches and little weed punctures on his butt and other areas as well as wet spots all over. I have never seen a man so embarassed since. His wife gives him more crap about it than we do now.

KickerPoint79

These are hilarious!! I have nothing to compare to these stories.

uncle matt

Well, it didn't happen to me but was funnier than he-double hockey sticks.

A guy in our firearmseason camp got his first deer right at opening light on opening day! Great - a good size button. He's waited a long time for this day.

Anyhow the deer's genitals were removed. His truck looked like it could could use a little spiffing up and what better to quickly spif up a guy's truck than the installation of a"hood ornament"?Somehow or another (who me?) the new "hood ornament" was secured to the grill with some sturdy zip ties. Who want's to see that silly blue oval anyhow? We did have to descretely shoo the dog away from it a couple times - LOL.

Anyhow we really don't move the trucksmuch once we get on siteand are parked in a way that no one ever really walks around the front of the trucks so he didn't wind up seeing it til even days after he got home when his wife asked, "What the heck is that on the front of your truck?" He had even driven to work a few days!

On the ride home we were talkin on the CB radio with the truck drivers about it and it was hilarious! We had them blowing their big air horns at him and giving himthumbs-up. He couldn't understand why all the attention. He'd call back to us on the walkie-talkies, "Man what's with all the truckers blowing their horns at me? I'm staying in my lane.", "How come truckers give you the thumbs-up?"

We told him truckers do that ifthey like how you look and want you to pull off at the next rest area. The guys in my truck were in tears.

wrenchbender

I was out at my favorite spot trying to call coyotes a couple of months ago. This place is a cut in a limestone hill near its top, and has a perfect view of a nice valley about 75 feetbelow it. You can see about a mile north and south in the valley, and are completely invisible from below. I saw no yotes as I called but noticed a very large hawk coming from the south end of the valley. I just sat tight for a while and pretty soon the hawk was right there by me. This was a very large red tail hawk and he was riding the breeze just 5 feet from me. He did not even see me, instead was looking for the "distressed rabbit" on the slope just in front of me. The hawk hung in the breeze almost motionless next to me and I could not resist, so I said pssst to it. Wow that bird about had a heart attack. It sort of looked like a scene from a cartoon. The hawk back peddled with its wings and about fell from the sky. After it recovered, it circled me a couple times to check out what had spooked it. I just smiled and waved. Didn't get any coyotes that day but that hawk made it a great day anyhow.

Bowflex

Fresh out of high school a friend and I went squirrel hunting with our .22 pistols. Stopping along a pond, my buddy spotted a huge bull-frog about a foot from shore. Leaning over with his .22, he let the frog have it right between the eyes.

Problem was, he got most of the frog, and a good amount of mud right between the eyes too!

Hotburn76

This year was the second year I took my nephew deer hunting and he got a buck on opening day. Then he gets to go to the local boy scout camp for a drawn hunt to shoot does only. Any way we see a bunch of does and finally we see one close enough that stands still long enough and he shoots and hits it. I'm 29 and he is 13 so I'm trying to be the instructer/ role model big guy and we talk and wait about an hour before we start to track since it ran into thick woods. We track and i'm being all cool and showing the blood and stuff and all off the sudden we are so interested in the blood on the ground we neraly steped on her since she was probally only fifteen feet away. This was the first time I looked foolish to my calm nephew because I about craped and fell over on my back, and he just laughs at me. Well I tell him lets not let her suffer so put one in the head. He does and we wait while the nerves twitch and se expires. I walk up from the back and tell him how you have to be careful and to kick the deer or tuch it with a stick, not just to run up and grab it. Well I feel quite confident it's dead so I just nudge it in the hip with my boot and WHAM it kicks me with its other leg, must had one last twitch left. I fall over, scream like a girl and about died, and here is my 13 year old nephew just calm and laughing at me the 29 year old!! So far I think thats my funniest.