uncle matt

I would - and have - turned in my own mother. What happened was that my Mom was suddenly coming up with delicious venison dishes. I mean EVERY Sunday (and usually another day of the week) she was coming by withawesome roasts, steaks and loins. I kept wondering, "where is she getting all the meat?". (I knew how much of my kills I had gave her). So I decided to investigate. I fitted her car with a GPS transmitter so that I could find the car at anytime. The transmiter was also set up to transmit an alarm signalanytime the vehicle moved.

So one night as I was putting on my pajamas I received an alarm from the transmitter. It was 1 in the morning. As the Mrs. was seductively calling me to bed in some of Fredrick's latest offerings (knew it was Fredrick's cause I saw it on the charge card bill) I told her, "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

I started the old Dodge and let her warm up til the tailpipe smoke subsided. I looked at my GPS and saw that she was headed out into the deep woods and farm fields.As I traveled thru the cold moon-lit night,I wondered to myself, "Self, just what exactly could Mom be doing way out here?"

As I got closer, to her position, I could see that her vehicle had been stopped on the road. As I came down the road I turned my headlamps off and activated the Dodge's IG night vision system (we all have that option on our trucks - right?). As I slowly approached, I saw three figures dragging a couple of dead deer towards the vehicle. I suddenly shined my spotlight on them and took them by suprise! WHAMMO! YOU'RE BUSTED!

There they were, my Mom and some of the shadier members of the local Bunko group. They were, if you don't mind the pun - like deer in the headlights. Standing there in their hair rollers, camoflauged nightgowns and robes - blood on their hands and blood smeared on their faces like Indians celebrating after a large kill. The deer had only very small puncture wounds, bothdirectly to the heart. "It must have been very quick kills", I thought. Then, suddenly one of them tried to run but quickly lost a slipper and gave it up. As I approached they quickly realized it was me and tried to play it smooth. They tried to tell me old farmer Biggs had asked them to thin the herd out because he was taking a big hit on his crops.

I saw thru their thin story and quizzed them.

"If Biggs wanted you to thin the herd, then why wouldn't you do it legally, in the daylight?"

They stood there, dumbfounded, with their blowguns, knitting and barbed crotcheting needles.

I told them to leave the deer where they were, that I had alerted the authorities and they were on the way.

When the Martha Stewart police arrived, they were all processed, cited and released onbond which they used their AAR bond cards for. Charges included illegal use of knitting needles (for all 3), illegal use of crotcheting equipment (for all 3), use of unapproved crotcheting equipment (barbs are illegal here in IL),failure to secure a slipper (1 count), failure to wear a nightgown or robe with atleast 400 sq. in. of blaze orange and hunting after dusk (3 counts).

Fortunately, Trooper Stewart allowed me to take possesion of the 2 does and get the meat to a good cause - the UMS Club.

When they appeared before the judge, they were quite fortunate. It seems the judge's wife was also a long standing member of the Bunko club and he went easy on them. They were each sentenced to bake cookies, cakes and pies for the courthouse Christmas party.

Now, seriously. I would have a problem with someone intentionally violating game laws. BUT I would need to know ALL of the facts before I would turn them in. The most important of the facts would be if anyone was injured/harmed by their acts, COULD someone have been injured or killed did they trespass in order to commit their acts, or were they setting a bad example for youngsters.

North Texan

Like others have said, it depends on the violation. For instance, if they shoot a button buck and have already shot a buck (one-buck county), I probably wouldn't say anything. That has happened once before, where the buttons were visible only upon close inspection of the deer. The hunter thought it was a doe, and only until he pointed it out did I realize it was a doe.

If it's an intentional violation, Iwould contact Texas Parks and Wildlife. I've never actually had this problem with anyone I know or that actually has permission to hunt, and don't anticipate it happening.

Kybuckhunter

Uncle Matt...we have to watch those old ladies around here also. They busted a ring of blue haired bandits taking bald eagle eggs from the nest last year. Seems the eagle eggs make some of the best cake you can eat. They caught the old girl coming down the tree with egg on he face, so to speak. She managed to get in a few good punches on the officers and made it to the get away car where three more of the gang were waiting. A high speed chase across three counties came to an end when the car they were drive skidded out of control killingall four members of the outlaw gang. It just goes to show you that crime doesn't pay.

Lanse couche couche

That reminds me of an incident several years ago. I was out hunting rabbits with my mother when she jumped a hen pheasant. Now Mom knew that pheasants were out of season and it was illegal to shoot a hen, but she did anyway. When she bent over to pick it up, I butt-stroked her behind the left ear with my 870 Wingmaster. I then knelt on her chest to keep her subdued while i dialed the Game Warden on my cell phone. Well, after 8 stitches and72 hours of sharing the county jail shower with a couple of 200 pound women with flat-top mullet hair-cuts, Mother decided to follow the game laws to the the letter from then on.

uncle matt

Alright it seems that the illicit activities with these women seem to increase with age. We will have to evaluate the facts to try and determine a common denominator in order to dampen these activities.

Do we know if these other women were "Bunko" players also? It could be these so-called "Bunko parties" may just be a front. They very well might be using these fronts as a base of operations. It seems suspicious to me that these so called "Bunko parties" are held in a different locations, never the same location two weeks in a row. Intresting, very intresting.

What have I started?

Lanse couche couche

Well, my Mom doesn't do Bunko, but, even worse, she is a member of the Church of Christ. But, everytime she starts her crap about, "God gave us dominion over the animals," I just tell her to feel behind her left ear. That shuts her up.

James B

Man! The things you hear when you don't have your hip waders on.

ALHunter74

Umm, no. It would need to be a much more severe crime for me to say something.

kevin1

If it were an honest mistake no , especially if they ask for the GW's phone number so they can report it themselves , poachers get no mercy no matter who they are .

texas8point

If your my buddy you wont have the law called, if your not my buddy..........you's goin to jail.