Sooner State Hunter

I see you just joined recently so you probably haven't had the pleasure to read the stories of my favorite poster ... Antler Eater. Do a search and read his tales.They'll inspire you to be a good writer if that's your dream.

Austin/WI

Also remember, writing is a process. The stories you see in magazines, etc. are done by people who often have literary degrees and have the help of a large editorial staff. Their stories are likely reworked and reworded a dozen times before it gets considered to be put into the magazine. Why do think there is a such a delay with stories in mags? Someone writes about their September elk trip to Colorado, but we don't read about it until January - editing.

NEW61375

Most outdoor writers I've read and hunting stories as well were not fictional. Is there a market for that? I'm just saying most want to read true hunts and real hunting information. You should definitely take some college level composition courses or classes, as far as the grammatical stuff you should be capable of working that out right now assuming youwent toschool andattended yourEnglish classes. Anyway, good luck.

HuntingBry

As someone who initially pursued the same career you are considering to the point of getting my undergraduate degree in journalism with a minor in wildlife and fisheries science I think I can give you some insight that will help you. At least I hope I can.

As the others have said, clean up your grammar and spelling errors. I won't belabor that point.

Now, let's talk about your content. The story is good and flows well, but there are some things you can improve upon. You know what you want to say, but you are not conveying what you are feeling to the reader. You tell the reader what you are feeling. In a story you want to put the reader in your place, not report to them what happened. You want the reader to feel your excitement, your frustration, your desire, etc. It's all about the details.

For example, you talk about how the temperature is dipping and you got cold so you got some coffee. Not bad, but if you really want the reader to feel how you felt write something like this:

"As the hours past and the mercury fell my fingers could no longer detect the tips of my gloves. I clenched and opened my hands to get the blood flowing, butby the time it reached my extremeties it had lost all of its warmth. The moisture condensing on my face mask caused a loss of sensation in my chin and nose. I could hear mychin whiskers scraping on the cloth of my mask, but could not feel its friction. After pouring some coffee the pin pricks in my finger tips let me know that the caffenated nectar was doing its job and was like a burst of warming sun flowing to my corewith each sip."

You have to pretend like you are the reader when you are writing so that you can give the reader all of the pieces he/she needs to live what you are writing in their mind.

The best suggestion I could give on how to learn how to do this is to read some books by good writers. They will illustrate what I am talking about and are far better than I am at doing what I have described.

GMMAT

WAY too much hyperbole, for my tastes.....

Tell me it was so cold your toes were aching....and I can relate. When you tell me your spit was freezing in the corner of your mouth....I can relate. Tell me that the thought of holding thatwarm coffeein your cup just made you feel better......whether you were drinking it or not.....and I can relate.

I'm a good 'ol country boy hunter. "Core", "detect", "nectar", etc.....lose me REALLY quickly.

Just my .02

HuntingBry

Anything more than "a", "and", & "the" loses you pretty quick Jeff.

Admittedly I was pouring it on pretty thick there, but I wanted to show him that when writing a story, whether a short story or novel, SHOWING is more important than TELLING. Besides, I came up with that in about 30 seconds.

moose1915

THAT IS the best thing i've read here in a while! POW!

bowtechlove

well im confused....
to be honest....im more of a down home writer...i want people to read what i write, that can go with the story, not need a dictionary or something to read it!!!!
plus, adding fiction to a story is not something that is bad, alot of outdoor stories i have read are not the full truth, they embelish too....
also, if my grammer is sooo bad then how come MSW doesnt pick it up or any other editing system in which i have used....so unless your an english major or have an actual career in writing then, plz stick to waht u know...im not looking to get people "on my case" about my writing....also i have a webpage that has a couple of my writings and i have had no comments like the ones left here...and its sort of strange......cuz i host an english literary site that compliments every style of writing, and if you knew, there are alot of different styles of writng...and i dont see the "big grammer" mistakes...point them out

txjourneyman

UMMM... why ask for opinions if you're just going to whine like a little girl when you don't like thereplies you askedfor. Your writing sucks. Theres an opinion for ya!

Sooner State Hunter

LOL tx, that's calling a spade a spade!