the bees knees

That same buddy got crapped on by a big a$$ bird turkey hunting...it was hilarious. Then that same day, I walked up on a Moccasin, and had to whack it with a stick, that was pretty funny too because my buddy was listening to me and couldnt see me, so he was a little confused when I got over to him...

CNYhunter

I guy at are hunting camp was taking a poo well sitting on a long. The log he was setting broke and he fell in his poo. All the while his brother is watching dieing of laughing.

RIStrutStopper

Once during shotgun season my buddy and I drove about 45 minutes to our hunting spot. We got out of my truck to get ready, both put on camo, spray down, orange vests, more spray, etc. I got my gun out of the case, he grabbed his. I unlocked mine, he had no key for his trigger guard! He decided to not hunt, I loaned him my truck to go home. I told him to be back at noon. Well, he got home, fell asleep and I got to hunt for a few extra hours that day.

Bow season opener one year. Had a spot all picked out, planned the entrance based on wind direction, jumped deer on the way in. Figured oh well, I was circling around the long way to get to the spot, so I'd hunt it anyway. Got into the stand site before sun-up and hunted all morning. Inoticed an unusual amount ofwasp activity. When I got down, I realized that there was an underground nest at the base of my tree. I unstrapped myself, then kept going back to the tree to get both parts of my climber, my safety belt, my bow, etc. As I got each piece, I moved them away from the tree to avoid getting stung. Safely away from the tree (I thought) as I'm bending over to secure my climber, i hear buzzzzzz coming from inside my jacket! I did the swat dance for a while til I was satisfied that I crushed the little bugger. I went back to packing my gear, then again buzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Swat dance #2... Well, I'm sure I looked pretty dumb when I realized that something had blocked the hole in the Primos Can in my pocket and it started buzzing every time I bent over! Power of suggestion!

ultra man

This actually happened to a buddy of mine years ago. We were en-route to our bow hunting spot, about a 45 mi drive. At about mile #2, my buddy starts to complain about gastro-discomfort. At about mile # 30 he was doin the drivers seat fidgett, and I tried to talk him into pulling over on the side of I 270, to no avail. He could, and WOULD hold it till we got to the farm. Well it's Mile # 40, and beads of sweat are forming on his forehead, he's already unzipped his cover-alls, in preperation of our arrival at the farm. Seat belt off, and door partially opened. He'sstill doing his best to maintain control of his bowels, but it is very apparrent that time is rapidly running out. AHH, Finally at the farm! We get close to our parking spot, with approx. 10 feet left. He gets his Jimmy to a slow roll, and it's out the drivers side door, TP in hand. I managed to get the truck stopped, while he was already in full squat, and making noises that I can only describe as the sounds of pure relief. A minute or three goes by, and out of the darkness, I hear him exclaim, "Oh S***!!!. I was afraid to ask what had happened, so I remained quiet, as I was sure I'd find out soon enough. Well, he comes back to the truck in his skivvies. Jump suit nowhere to be seen, and proceeds to tell me the story. In his haste to relieve himself, he shimmied down his cover-alls, and THOUGHT they were clear of the bombay doors. Upon completing his hideous task, he cleaned himself up, reached behind him to grab the tops of his cover-alls and pull them back up in a rapid lifting-towards-the-upper-back motion. What he failed to realize, was that the poo had landed on the inner collar portion of his jump suit, and upon trying to re-suit himself, he had soiled himself from the base of his head to just below the shoulders. I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard, and know my laughter scared every deer away for miles.

Higgy15jh

I was bowunting (and had a achery turkey tag too). a big ol bachelor group of toms came by, I stood up and got ready to shoot...well i had no release. I had not practiced shooting fingers so I wasnt going to shoot and risk a bad shot. I was pretty sure I had packed it in and found it setting on the fourwheeler seat. Oh well, Ill get another shot at one... hopefully!

Higgy15jh

I was bowunting (and had a achery turkey tag too). a big ol bachelor group of toms came by, I stood up and got ready to shoot...well i had no release. I had not practiced shooting fingers so I wasnt going to shoot and risk a bad shot. I was pretty sure I had packed it in and found it setting on the fourwheeler seat. Oh well, Ill get another shot at one... hopefully!

Arthur P

Probably the dumbest thing I did was when I was bowfishing once. I was walking the bank of a small cove where spotted gar cruise around just under the surface. Action was kind of slow that day and a water moccasin came skimming across the water. "I wonder if I can hit that snake?"

Drew back and released. Caught that snake dead amidships. That's when it spotted me and here it came! [:-] It was making some real good speed too, with the arrow sticking out of it and cutting a wake behind. I found out real quick it's hard to push a P.O.'d moccasin away from you with a length of wet line. Didn't have time to nock another arrow, so I tossed my bow down - after all, the snake was stuck with an arrow that had a line tied to it and the other end of the line was tied to my bow, and I didn't especially want to be bringing the snake with me - and I lit out.

About 30 yards up the brand new trail I'd just cut, I found a hefty piece of dead wood, just right for a club. I went back and reclaimed my property from the snake.

I've never taken another potshot at a snake while bowfishing, I guarantee that.

Then there was the time I was driving the backroads doing some road scouting and had to drain off some of Starbucks' finest. Pulled over to the side and went to water a bush behind a big tree. I had just gotten matters in hand and was in that initial heavy sigh portion of the event when all of a sudden that bush exploded!

A wet and irritated hen turkey came out of that bush like it's tail feathers were afire. It was a good thing I was already in process or I definitely would've wet my pants on that one.

I lost a little belief in the mythic difficulty of hunting turkeys because of that episode.

Bullet Hole Bailey

hahaha, great stories guys!

Greg / MO

Thanks for sharing those, Arthur... I've been close to a ton of water moccasins growing up and can appreciate that story!

BigJ71

I was gun hunting about 10 years ago when I discovered that someone had stolen the ladder that I used to get into my gun stand on my families property....Crap![:@] Well the stand is about 17 feet off the ground and built between four trees so I figured I'd just shimmy up there. So I tied my rope (to pull the shot gun up with) to my fanny pack/vest with all of my gear in it, thinking It would free up both hands for climbing.

Then in a shear stroke of genius, I remove the pack thinking "I don't really need that gear and I can climb better without the extra weight and bulk" So I procede to haul my large arse up to my stand bracing myself between the two trees that were the closest to each other, flashlight in my mouth.What seemed like an eternitylater, dripping in sweat I relish in my accomplishment only to realize what I'd done! Down below was my shotgun.......Crap![:@]

Down I go......in the pitch black of the early morning with flashlight again in my mouth to retreive my gun. Going down was just as difficult as going up but I managed to make it back down to terra ferma without falling. I then re-attach the gun rope this time to my belt and again begin the climb back up said tree. By now I'm so wet with sweat I think I'd be dryer if I had just gotten out of alake but I again manage to reach the top. I start to pull the gun up and realize that the shells are (you guessed it) in the fanny pack with the rest of the stuff I thought I didn't need..........on the ground! After about ten minutes of trying to hook the pack with my shotgun I knew there was only one thing to do.........

Baaaaaaaaack down the tree I go....again. By now the sky is starting to lighten up as the dawn was approaching, at least I didn't have to chew on a flashlight to see where I was going. I tied my rope tothe vest and once again headed for the stand that by now felt like it was 50 feet in the air. About half way up I stopped to catch my breath, with my feet and butt wedged between the two trees I was able to rest for a little while. I tell ya it's not easy hauling 325lbs up and down a tree all morning.

It's just about this time that I notice three does in the middle of the field that the stand over looks starring at me no doubt saying to each other "that's gotta be the dumbest hunter I have ever seen."

At the time I didn't see the humor but looking back I makes me laugh.