davidmil

I vote, you should have taken him hunting. It's a day trip as I understand it. What did he not have with him he needed that you couldn't run and pick up or provide. It's pigs in a bait site for gosh sakes. You're not stalking gazelles on the open veld. Life's lesson??? I think you just disappointed a teenager with hormone problems as well as family problems as I understand it. You decided to become his "Teacher of life's lessons" and the kid sounds like he needs a helping hand with no dad on the scene. The only lesson I see is another Man figure let him down in his eyes. Life's lesson indeed. Take a kid hunting for gosh sakes. The whole family is in a state of "What now" with hubby not on the scene and you let the kid down. Wrong decision. The kid will tell you... you're not my dad. He'll with draw further to his friends and "Girl Friend". Of course you have to understand I come from a family of crotchetty old farts with one divorce in the family tree in the last 50 years. In similar threads on here the same people that tell you teach him a lesson would tell you, "You made a committment". Well, you found an excuse to get out of it in the kids eyes. Sure you give him all the grief and trouble you want about not being prepared. That's the lesson. But you take him hunting. In my opinion, you need some life lessons too.

Alabama Slama

look from a kids stand point which i kind of am since I'm only 16, if idid something wrong my dad would let me go hunting but i would get so muchcrap from my uncle and other hunting friends that it was worse than not going at all. I would let him go but give him a hard time about it in a friendly way it got through to me.

MichaelT.

My only thoughts are will this teach him a lesson about responsibility, or that you have to always be perfect in life, which is impossible. Kids make mistakes. I know, I have 5 ( 17 1/2 ( stepdaughter ), 12 1/2, 10 , 8 1/2 , and 19 mos. ( adopted ). If I let my kids errors kill our plans, when I only get to see " my " kids every other weekend, it would kill their souls. I do believe in teaching kids life lessons, and he may be a really irresponsible kid , but kids make mistakes, and at 13 years old, this might truly break his heart if he really looks up to you. But, only you know what kind of relationship you two have.Sometimes it is better to simply forgive a childs adolescent short-comings, in order forthem to havea positive rolemodel to fashion themselves after. And would it really be much of a problem for you to get him set up with the items he left?

But, I will also say that in getting to know you, TX, I have found you to be agood heartedand upstanding guy, who would weigh out all the pluses and minuses ina situation and make the best call possible. So if you said life lesson, I would not second guess you.

Remember the reason for the season.

Merry CHRISTmas.

God Bless

txjourneyman

Well, no one went hunting. I stayed home too. I'm not sure I made it clear about why Tanner needed a lesson. It wasn't about not bringing his gear. Heck, hes worn the wrong size camo before and getting a weapon in his hands would not be a problem. We've done that before. The problem was that his mom told him several times to get ready. They live about an hour & 1/2 away and were coming to spend the weekend. Tanner ignored his mothers requests to get his things packed. I can't overlook that. We had a long talk about taking care of responsibilities. That was while I taught him how to fletch arrows last night. Thats what we did instead of hunting. We had a good talk. I think he will still disobey his mom at times, what kid doesn't? But I also think I made clear to him that when he wants to do something he has to carry his end of the load.
And yes Davidmil, I do need some life lessons. Who amongst us doesn't? I don't have much experience at being a mentor. I am learning as I go and doing the best job I can. Will I make mistakes?I am sure I will. I just pray that I can be a positive influence in this kids life.

furgitter

Ive got a 14 yo son with a girlfriend.Sometimes he wants to talk all night on the phone.Thats fine,I dont wake him up twice,and he can cook his own breakfast.

RDHunter

I'm sure you did the right thing txjourneyman , you said what you wanted to say to the young lad with hopes that he understands and maybe next time he'll be ready.
As for davidmil : for a person that doesn't want to give advice and to let everyone be on there own , he sure does like to rant.

petasux

Dad took me fishing one time, a spot that was only two miles from the house.The Northerns were biting and they were catching some huge fish with about every other cast.I had several days to get ready for the outing but when we got there I came to find out I only had about 10 yrds of line on my pole, not enough to cast with.

I sat and watched the other guys fish all day, dad coulda easily drove me the 2 miles back to the house for new line but he didnt.I was pretty pissed off at the time.But I never forgot the double check my gear again before heading out.To this day I keep a extra spool of line in my tackle box.

MichaelT.

TX, You are right, we all need some life lessons of some sort. As the Lord said, " For none of you are perfect, No not one. " And as far as being a mentor or positive role model, I would bet that you already are. But , yes , prayer can help.

And, as I said before, who you are as a person already shows through in your posts , and perhaps some of us could take a lesson or two.

Merry CHRISTmas

God Bless

Killer_Primate

I think responsibility is very important, and should be expected of children. I also believe that children should always be respected, even if they make you angry. My opinion is that you very respectfully explain that it is unfortunate that he did not take responsibility for making sure he had his hunting gear, and that subsequently, he’ll have to sit this one out. I’d also explain that you were really looking forward to him accompanying you, and suggest that next time you’ll try to remind him.
Also, it doesn’t sound like he really wanted to go, or at least not bad enough to remember his stuff, which to me, is another reason to sit this one out. You jumping through a bunch of hoops to get him out and hunting, when he really doesn’t seem to want to be there sounds like a recipe for spoiling him, and provides no reason on his part to change his actions.

He’s your nephew, so you’ll know what is best, but that is just my opinion.
KP

chr103yod

I think you did a great job. My son is 13 and he's always forgetting things. I usually give him a break but if I specifically ask him to do something several times and he still forgets he is out of luck. I think it was really good that you still found something else to do with him and didn't just go by yourself. Maybe he felt just a little guilty that you couldn't go either. He'll remember next time.