Redneck family in the mall
11-06-2005, 09:46 PM
#1
Typical Buck
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Troutdale Oregon
Posts: 569
Redneck family in the mall
A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and
they were in a mall for the first time in their life.
The father and son were strolling around while the wife
shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but
especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then
slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
"Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life,
I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old
lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a
button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small
circular numbers abo ve the walls light up sequentially. They continued
to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to
light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a
gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman,
said quietly to his Son,
"Boy, go git yo Momma....
[/align]
they were in a mall for the first time in their life.
The father and son were strolling around while the wife
shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but
especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then
slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
"Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life,
I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old
lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a
button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small
circular numbers abo ve the walls light up sequentially. They continued
to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to
light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a
gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman,
said quietly to his Son,
"Boy, go git yo Momma....
[/align]
11-07-2005, 12:31 AM
#4
Typical Buck
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Troutdale Oregon
Posts: 569
RE: Redneck family in the mall
A man walking along a California beach was deep in thought.
Suddenly, the sky clouded above his head and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be a good person in every way, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
God said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources.
I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor the sanctity of life.
The man thought about it for a long time.
Finally he said, "I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
God replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on
that bridge?"
Suddenly, the sky clouded above his head and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be a good person in every way, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
God said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources.
I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor the sanctity of life.
The man thought about it for a long time.
Finally he said, "I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
God replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on
that bridge?"
11-07-2005, 12:32 AM
#5
Typical Buck
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Troutdale Oregon
Posts: 569
RE: Redneck family in the mall
Dear Abby,
My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The
other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be
able to monitor my moods.
When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm
in a bad mood it leaves a big f*$%ing red mark on his
forehead.
Maybe next time the a$$hole will buy me a
diamond.
Sincerely,
Bitchy in Brooklyn, N.Y
My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The
other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be
able to monitor my moods.
When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm
in a bad mood it leaves a big f*$%ing red mark on his
forehead.
Maybe next time the a$$hole will buy me a
diamond.
Sincerely,
Bitchy in Brooklyn, N.Y
11-07-2005, 07:29 AM
#10
Fork Horn
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location:
Posts: 265
RE: Redneck family in the mall
2 guys and a redneck talking about making love to there wives: first guy says after i make love to my wife. i take a feather and slowly carress my wifes back and she climaxes again.
second guy says i can beat that. after we make love i give my wife a back massage and she hovers off the bed 6 inches.
redneck says. o' hell, after i get done porkin' the ole lady,i walk over to the winder and rub my cock off on the curtain's. my ole lady hits the ceiling.
second guy says i can beat that. after we make love i give my wife a back massage and she hovers off the bed 6 inches.
redneck says. o' hell, after i get done porkin' the ole lady,i walk over to the winder and rub my cock off on the curtain's. my ole lady hits the ceiling.