How do you hunt or fight off a damn near perfect predator/hunter?
01-25-2013, 04:23 AM
#21
Fork Horn
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 253
Question guys, most of you when you go hunting im assuming carry a field pack along with a knife. Anyone carry a tomahawk or a machete for possible self defense? Or would a person who carries a tomahawk be roleplaying a little too much?
02-11-2013, 10:10 AM
#23
Spike
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Rochester, New York
Posts: 55
It's a little known fact that whitetail deer are carriers for Mountain Lion Zombiosis Virus, commonly known as MLZV. When you shoot a a carrying whitetail in cougar country, if you don't properly dispose of your gut pile, an unwitting mountain lion might become infected if it feeds on the remains. After an initial incubation period of 7-10days, the symptoms of the MLZ virus will begin to present, following another 2-3wks, the mountain lion will become completely consumed with the virus, its adrenal glands will kick into hyperactive mode, and the mountain lion will reach full Zombification. At this time, only the brains of American Hunters will sate their appetites.
To combat animals afflicted with MLZV, hunters must defend themselves at all times with a short barreled 12ga with a pistol grip. You can saw off the barrel with a hacksaw, just cut it right in front of the end of the magazine tube (be careful not to get caught with it, otherwise you'll go straight to prison!). As a backup once the shotty runs dry, a .40caliber Glock stoked with FBI loads should be worn on each hip, and both pistols should be dual weilded to ensure plenty of firepower.
An AK-47 or M-4 AR-15 with a 100rnd beta mag full of ballistic tips is a suitable replacement as long as it is equipped with a vertical hand grip, flashlight, laser, bipod, red dot sight, magnifier, BAD lever, quad rail forend, flip-up back up battle sights, and M-203 40mm grenade launcher.
Headshots are the only known method of actually killing zombified mountain lions, but hunters are encouraged to shoot wildly at the attacking beast as any hits to the body will cause bodily trauma to help slow the animal down enough to allow a point blank headshot to finish the job.
Awareness of MLZV is limited, but the solution starts with you.
To combat animals afflicted with MLZV, hunters must defend themselves at all times with a short barreled 12ga with a pistol grip. You can saw off the barrel with a hacksaw, just cut it right in front of the end of the magazine tube (be careful not to get caught with it, otherwise you'll go straight to prison!). As a backup once the shotty runs dry, a .40caliber Glock stoked with FBI loads should be worn on each hip, and both pistols should be dual weilded to ensure plenty of firepower.
An AK-47 or M-4 AR-15 with a 100rnd beta mag full of ballistic tips is a suitable replacement as long as it is equipped with a vertical hand grip, flashlight, laser, bipod, red dot sight, magnifier, BAD lever, quad rail forend, flip-up back up battle sights, and M-203 40mm grenade launcher.
Headshots are the only known method of actually killing zombified mountain lions, but hunters are encouraged to shoot wildly at the attacking beast as any hits to the body will cause bodily trauma to help slow the animal down enough to allow a point blank headshot to finish the job.
Awareness of MLZV is limited, but the solution starts with you.
