BareBack Jack

Ha,Ha those are good ones,here's another.

There is this Montanan duck hunting on the N. Dakota/Montana border,well here comes this flock of mallards and he swings on the first green head and BAM!.It sails accross his head and lands in N. Dakota about 10 yds away.Well he walks over to pick up this duck and here comes the game warden.Well the game warden pulls up and starts writing him a ticket for hunting in N. Dakota with out a license and poaching.The Montanan says"look here mister this duck was shot in Montana and landed in N.dakota" the game says yes it was but it's in North Dakota so now it's a Noth Dakotan duck.
The Montanan says let settle this the old fashioned way,the Game warden asks how that.The Montanan replies"with an old fashioned nut kicking contest"the North Dakotan game warden says "whats the rules"the Montanan replies "the first person bends over and the 2nd one kicks him in the nuts,if he get's up the,the next guy get a chance and if don't get up the other wins.

Well the Montana says it's customary that the arguer gose first,so the North Dakotan bends over and the Montana runs up and kicks him as hard as he can in the crotch,and game warden hit's the ground,crying,and vomiting and after 10 minuts of this he gets up and says to the Montanan"your turn" the Montnana looks at him and say's"Naw you can keep that dam duck"

BBJ

ShatoDavis

My brother in law is a city slicker. He decided that he wanted to go hunting one year. My wife talked me into taking him hunting. I tell him to come on down. Well, we're sitting there when he pokes me and tells me that he needs to take a dump. I tell him to hold it because I see a nice buck. He sees it and takes the shot. As we walk up to the buck his stomach pain hits again. He says that he needs to go to the brush. He walks down a little ravine and disappears. I start field dressing his buck for him. I notice that the entrails are rolling down the ravine but don't think anything about it. Some time passes and I've finished dressing the deer when my city slicker brother in law finally comes out of the brush. He's ghost white and looks as if he might pass out. I ask him what in the world is wrong. He hesitates and replies: "I had a powerful pain...I strained and strained....When I turned around I noticed that I had strained my guts out....but with the help of god and these two fingers I shoved them back in."

BareBack Jack

Bubba Ray and Bubba Joe go out deer hunting one day and as they are walking to their stand Bubba Ray has to take a dump.
So off Bubba Ray gose around a tree,all of a sudden he's let out a blood curtiling scream and comes running back to Bubba Joe.Bubba Joe looks at Bubba Ray and say's whats your problem,Bubba ray replies a rattle snake just bit me on my A$$ and you have to suck the poison out.Bubba Joe replies" well I hope you liked that breakfast cause you gonna die"

BBJ

ShatoDavis

This old timer is sitting on his porch and sees this youngster walkin up the street. Old timer hollers: "hey boy what ya carryin'?"

the boy replies: "fish sticks, I'm goin fishin"

"well you cant catch fish with fish sticks boy"

later that day the boy comes back with a stringer full of fish. the ole timer just stratches his head. Next morning he sees the same boy carrying something else. he yells: " what ya packin boy?"

"duck tape, I'm goin duck huntin"
"you cant get no ducks with tape, boy"
later that day the boy comes back with a arm full of ducks.

Next day the ole time sees the boy again. "what ya packin boy"

"just a ***** willow branch"
"hold on I'm comin with ya"

BareBack Jack

HA!!!,OMG LOL that last got me laugh'in,***** willows ha,ha I'm still laugh'in.
Good one ShatO.
BBJ

Hunter06FlKy

all of those are hilarious. unfortunately i don't have any to add at this moment.

Hunter_59

Those were great!! Keep'm comin! LMAO!

Oldguy

Bubba, Ralph & Earl go deer hunting. Bubba & Earl go down in the hollar, while Ralph goes up on the ridge. Bout noon, Ralph is waiting at the truck as aggreed, finally here comes Bubba dragging a nice buck. Where's Earl? Oh, he had a heart attack, I think he's dead. Ralph was getting excited and said and you left him in the woods, but brought in this deer? Well, I figured nobody would steal Earl.

justhuntitall

Once there was this mean old Arkansas Game Warden out looking to give somebudy some tickets. He seen this guy down at the swamp hunting ducks so he said Ill get him.
The hunter had 3 ducks the Warden said I want to check your ducks so the hunter said ok .
The Warden pick one duck smelled it a$$hole and said thats a IL. duck do you have an IL permit the hunter said yep here is.That good said the Warden he picked up the next duck smelled its a$$hole said thats a Iowa duck do you have a Iowa pemit hunter said yep here it is . The Warden said Ill get him now picked up the last duck and smelled its a$$hole and said well thats a Maine duck you have a Maine permit hunter said yep here it is
Well the Warden is pi$$ed he said just where the hell are you from the hunter pulled down his pants and bent over and said your the expert you tell me!!

Rebel Dog

Well Shato, I don't want your story time thread turn into actual events but since you mentined swans being mistakin I had to tell you about this....It is true because it happened to me.

Here in Virginia we have a draw on Swans only 600 permits a year are allowed My friends and I submit every year and who ever is drawn we will hunt together Not to Brag but I have become the go too guy for the calling. So I am always around. The best place to hunt them around here is a Marine base which is open to the public and the waterfowl blinds are precisely 500 yards apart (minimum by law) Well this particular day Its my buddy and his wife hunting. My buddy's wife and I have permits he dosn't. Well we get all set up and we are in the blind and get a bird to come in at first light BOOM!! My buddies wife is done! Now it's my turn well I look up the marsh and we have some late arrivals coming into the blind up from us. They get all settled in and the Swans start working back in around 9:30. So I am doing my thing calling and the way everything is set and the wind and the birds being so large needing room to circle they are going right over the other blind making there approach to us. Well the first 3 fly over and they cut loose one bird down I tell my buddy Well the have permits so now they only have one left! Sure enough a little while later another bunch come over and they cut loose again cripling one and knocking another down. I said B_ _ tards should have went after that criple before killing another. Well I said they are done anyway son of a guns have benefited from our spread and calling. So I am ready again and get another bunch to work over and I will be dam_ _ d if they didn't cut loose again and kill two more, I said to my buddy we have a problem now. Well this went on until 3:30 when the other guys picked up after killing 6 and cripling 2. When they started picking up my buddy said that he was going to call game check (On this base you have to check in and out at "Game Check" before and after hunting) and he and his wife were going to leave I decided to stay on and try and get my bird. Well I didn't get my bird and my buddy called me that evening and said that the guys had been stopped by the warden at game check and were getting ready to let them go? He said that the warden didn't know the difference between a snow goose and a swan The guys were claiming they were snows! Well my buddy told them to get the senior warden (who we know) which they did! by god he knew the difference and the rest is history hefty fines were issued and I never got my swan that year. A week after we had a freeze that kept the marsh froozen the rest of the season.